Thursday, April 12, 2012

Azalea Dreams


Still cold in the early morning spring – I put on my shiney orange super-hero jacket and my blue spirit-of-the-water hat.  Then out back to the azalea – the purple-full-blooming-beneath-the-bare-crab-apple azalea.  (As I write, I notice that I like the word azalea.   So many a’s and the precious z – as if there were a zebra hiding in there or this were the perfect solution to a mysterious set of Scrabble letters.)  
     In this cool weather we’ve been having – the pinky purple azalea blossoms have been out for nearly two weeks.  A long life for these extravagant and tissue thin creations.

      I stand in front of this particular bush trying to learn something.  

     I wonder if the ancestors of this azalea wandered the hills of China?  Maybe one once grew near a hermit’s hut.  I suspect he was only a mediocre hermit.  Not one of the real high class guys who lots of people visit and then tell stories about how awesome he is.  Just one of the hermits where it was hard to know whether he was on a spiritual path, or just a kooky guy living in the woods.  It wasn’t clear whether his life was a success or a failure.  And maybe he doubted too, but was somehow faithful.              
     Whoever he was, I imagine he loved the azalea that bloomed near his hut.  Through the cold winter he was content enough, but secretly he longed for the easy warmth of summer.  This azalea may have been his unrestrained reminder of returning life.  How could he help but smile deep in his belly?   Facing this quick manifestation of the irrepressible fullness that is already proceeding - even while the trees are still barren and the chill of winter lingers in the air.


Friday, April 6, 2012

Making the Right Decision


My forthcoming book has become the focus of my life.  New energy swirls around me as I have conversations with booksellers, web site designers, social media consultants, public relations specialists.  There is no end to what could be done.  I’m thrilled.  Delighted with possibility.  And slightly overwhelmed. 
Who to choose to work with? 
What to do and not do? 
How much is enough?’
My forever personal consultant and sister gently reminds me, when I speak with her on the phone, to step back and trust the feeling that arises in my body.  She’s right.  I find my body wisdom much more reliable than my head wisdom.  I’m liable to get excited about almost everything I encounter.  And from the place of heady possibility, I don't know how to decide.  I'm constantly afraid of making the wrong decision.  
So today – to remember to take what our Zen ancestor Dogen called ‘the backward step.’  To step back from the momentum of the forward leaning excitement and worry.  To notice my fleshy life of THIS moment even as I dream into some bright and wonderful future. 
Feet on the ground.
Breath in the belly.
Trusting the subtle sense
still quietly arising
amid the hubbub.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Faded Flowers


The daffodils that were drooping outside after the hard frost last week didn’t last long when I brought them into my room.  Just a few days.  Their already thin yellow petals became quickly even thinner and more translucent – almost like the skin of a very old person.  The formerly extended petals curled back in toward the center and lost their liveliness.  There was still water in the vase, but the flowers were clearly dead. 
            I’m not very good at taking out the dead flowers like I should.  For one thing, I’m never sure they’re really dead.   I always suspect some lingering life.  And weren’t they dead when I cut them from the plant?  Is it that I appreciate the fading – the slow vanishing of the intimate wetness of life?  Or is it more inertia and laziness?
I don’t have a philosophical or aesthetic problem with dead flowers sitting on my desk.  Of course, I often don’t have a problem with a pile of clothes on the floor of my room.  Something else shiny and bright catches my attention – the next thing blooming buds in the garden – the next project that has me putting things together.  I am easily distracted by the quickening of life.
But yesterday, I brought the faded flowers down to the kitchen.  And this morning, I took them out to the compost.  And I just hung up some random shirts and put some sox in the laundry basket in my closet.  Now if I can just sort though the pile of papers on my filing cabinet, I’ll be all set.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Happiness Springs


Happiness springs from hidden sources, 
bubbling up in ordinary places 
gently abducting us into realms of delight and 
uncovering wondrous worlds in plain sight.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

First Sighting of 'This Truth'

One of the chapters of my new book has just appeared on line in elephant journal.com  Here is the link:
                                     http://wp.me/pWVFb-1gLN

and a preview.      Please visit it and make a comment.
       

Photo: David Webb
This is an essay excerpted from David’s forthcoming book, This Truth Never Fails, A Zen Memoir in Four Seasons (Wisdom Publications), available this June.
~

"I woke up this morning wishing I were William James."


Friday, March 16, 2012

Book Launch Party June 11th


Mark your calendars: 

Monday evening, June 11th at Boundless Way Temple in Worcester, MA.  We're having a book launch party for my new (and first) book, This Truth Never Fails: A Zen Memoir in Four Seasons. 

It's been a long and amazing journey and I'm looking forward to celebrating with friends, colleagues, and sangha.  As an extra bonus, I have convinced Josh Bartok, my editor at Wisdom Publications, to come and be part of the festivities.       

I'm scheduling other readings at bookstores, churches, and meditation groups and would be happy to talk with you about arranging an event to support the book if you've got an idea.

This Truth is now available for pre-order at BarnesandNoble.com and Amazon.com and will be released on June 10!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Dream After Dream

            My week in paradise is almost over. 
I sit here on the third floor veranda of the Blue Spirit Retreat Center in Nosara, Costa Rica.  It’s still dark and I’m in my special place—a corner I’ve claimed in the early morning darkness.  I look north toward the ocean a ½ mile down below and east to the horizon over the dark hill nearby.  The curve of the ocean bay is barely visible—a dull oval jutting into the inky black mass of the land.  But the sound of the crashing surf is unmistakable.  Later this morning those waves will be dotted with surfers of all shapes and sizes who are mostly visitors in paradise like me.  Guiones beach is a surfer’s Mecca with its consistent waves and two-mile sandy beach.
In the northern sky, over the sound of the surf, the big dipper hangs.  Handle pointing directly up as if it had been hung on a hook in God’s kitchen.  As a New England boy, I’m used to seeing the big dipper in Vermont in the summer where it appears in the early night sky just a little over the northeastern horizon.  It’s is always—every year of my life—at a slight angle.  Handle a little higher than the cup.  And the two pointer stars describing the far end of the handle reliably led to the less dramatic but much more dependable north star and the related little dipper.
But I’ve never seen the big dipper standing on its head.  Not until this week on a hill by the blue ocean in Costa Rica.  It’s the roosters' fault.  They begin their full throated call to the universe at around three a.m.  At first it’s just a few malcontents, proclaiming the coming day though the darkness is still full.  But soon they are joined by others.  If you listen carefully you can imagine the shape and size of the body of each of these amazing beings when they call.  Some quite scrawny and half-hearted.  Others colorful and proud.  The pitch is higher or lower, the volume varies, the rhythm of the crowing changes, each one a brief solo in the symphony of God. 
Of course, most of us here at the resort complain about their inconvenient cacophony.  This is not music, this is merely irritating sound. 
But the roosters are nothing compared to the howler monkeys who join in as the sky shows its first light.  These relatively small black-faced monkeys live in the trees around the retreat center and beyond.  During the dawn and twilight you can actually see them traveling unseen roads in the tangled branches of the nearby trees.  The don’t really ‘swing’ from branch to branch, they go surely with an easy confidence—even the little ones.  They don’t mind the branches bending down under their weight, they simply reach out with a hand or a foot and grab another thin branch while their monkey tails hold on surely till the new perch is attained.
But I meant to talk about how annoying they are. 
These creatures with opposable thumbs on their feet as well as hands, make the most surprising and resonant sound.  Hearing them call out in the dark of the first morning here, most visitors assume they are surrounded by some form of lion or tiger—though someone did once guess wild pig too.  They make a roaring-howling sound with intricate variation.  One calls out for a few minutes, then goes silent.  Then another.  And another.  The sound is loud and weirdly arresting.  When they are close to the building we are staying in their call reverberates through the hallways and into our still darkened rooms.
And the birds, I almost forgot the birds' sweet calls.  They enter after the roosters begin the party and the howler monkeys have joined in.  Squawking and chirping and tweeting—a delightful wash of sound.  They are like the woodwinds coming in altogether in a trembling manner after the blare of the trumpet and the wild growl of the double bass.
Still, as I write, the sun is not yet up, though the light has come.  The green tree-covered hills have revealed the steep sides and white waves are visible on the still gray water that runs up toward the beach.  I clearly see my hands on the keyboard of my laptop and the glass of water resting by the base of the column that holds up the roof.  It’s quarter to six and six is when the coffee is put out.  Ten is when my shuttle leaves for the airport.
A soft breeze blows and all the animals of creation sing their hearts out.  I try to hear God’s voice in each one.  I am grateful that no one holds back, even that first annoying rooster.  Yesterday I was galloping down the white beach, past the surfers on a gentle and eager Costa Rican horse.  Tomorrow I’ll be groggily waking up in my unfamiliar own bed and walking down the cold wooden stairs to make my own coffee drink. 
The sun has risen once again over the eastern hills.  I squint my eyes and think about packing.
So it goes.  Dream after dream.  Life after life.